Lack of general knowledge

It is difficult to prevent others from saying things about you. People often talk. Taking preventative measure such as treating people decently, using manners, and keeping ones reputation in a good light are helpful in dispelling false accusations. In the end people gossip to feel better about self not taking into account the people they hurt.

Publisher: Senior Times Newspaper, Inc.

The Senior Times is a bi-weekly publication
printed and distributed through Shoreline Publications, Inc.

by Anne Armand

“This is how I look at life. I have to attend to myself first (second only to God) in order to be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically available to others. If you have trouble with the semantics of putting yourself second, think of it as preparation to serve others,” says Mary Kay Evans LCSW and founder of Care Pathways Senior Care in Orange County.

Snapshot: Care Pathways was founded in 1999 to bring a higher standard of care and compassion to seniors and families going into long-term care. Ms Evans took her years of practice to the people. Mary Kay Evans is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with more than 30 years’ experience dedicated to the health and care of elder clients and their families. She serves on the board for Hospice Care of California, Orange County Council on Aging, Continuing education for Long Term care Social Workers and teaches “Compassion in Care” at UCI Medical Center.

“At the end of the day, I love what I do — I enjoy sharing not only inspiring and informative information, but also the good stuff.” Mary Kay Evans LCSW

“Those in the helping profession sometimes have a hard time remembering to take the time that is needed for themselves. Not only is there work to be done, also many are taking care of small children, an elderly parent, grandchild, home and so much worry in theses uncertain times trying to keep all the balls you juggle in the air.

“The odds are high that burnout will strike every healthcare professional at some point. Health workers — as well as teachers, ministers and others in the caring professions — are at increased risk for the stress syndrome because of the intensity of their work and the emotional bonds they form with the people they’re helping.”

Healthcare workers at risk for burnout can take action to avoid it. Here are some of their suggestions from Mary Kay on avoiding work-related burnout:

Bond with Colleagues: Reaching out to colleagues and discussing difficult situations can help to reduce stress, Traditionally, there has been a lack of positive feedback among health professionals, which fuels isolation and burnout. This has changed.

Talk It Out — and Let Others, Too: A friend, colleague, counselor or career coach can help a person beat burnout just by listening. “Working with someone can help you clarify your vision and what motivates you,” and help you come to terms with the clash between your expectations and the reality of your job. Employers also play a role in fostering a more supportive working environment. “Organizations should look at provider satisfaction with an attitude that if someone is complaining, it’s not that they’re a complainer, but that something needs to be fixed,”

Don’t Lose Sight of the Forest for the Trees: “The most important step people can take to prevent burnout is to constantly evaluate their life priorities and keep them in mind, Mary Kay asks her clients to think about the different areas of their lives — family, career, hobbies and religion — like pieces of a pie. She has them divide the pie in two: how their life is actually sliced and how they’d like it to be sliced. Burnout is preventable in the long term if you tailor your day-to-day activities to reflect how you’d like your pie sliced. Always keeping in mind to take of yourself so that you may continue to care for others.”
For more information you can visit http://www.carepathways.net

As a social worker in healthcare for 30 years I have seen so much abuse of our Medicare Program take place by skilled nursing facilities, i.e. rehab. And the ever 20 days that is paid at 100 percent by Medicare. While there are many patients that can and do benefit from PT, OT, and speech services, there are also many that cannot due to cognition, dementia’s or medical conditions that prevent the patient for fully participating in a rehab program.

I have seen 90 something year olds that are in stages of decline and dementia that are pushed beyond their limits in order to justify Medicare days. I have seen patients that are unable to retain information from day to day and put through the paces for their full 20 days of Medicare and have not improved. I see this not only as Medicare abuse but also patient abuse as a frail elderly person that cannot benefit from such therapy could be walked by a RNA or caregiver to help with function. I also see patients that could benefit from hospice care services or palltive care verses aggressive care but are not given this option.

There are also patients who could benefit from living in small Board and Care homes verses a Skilled nursing care facility much cheaper than a skilled nursing facility. However in CA medi-cal will only pay for skilled nursing for long-term care. If they are looking for cuts, I suggest they talk to me, as I and many other social workers could advice in areas that need cutting and the ones that do not.

We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection.

15 minutes of fame, alternatively famous for 15 minutes, is short-lived, often ephemeral, media publicity or celebrity of an individual or phenomenon. The expression was coined from Andy Warhol, who said in 1968 that “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.

Have any of you ever dealt with someone who craves attention so much that they don’t care if it’s positive or negative?
People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear.

We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly.

Patient: Someday’s I crave attention so bad it hurts… It’s like I don’t feel like I’m real (I know, I never really do because of my chronic depersonalization) but some days I need some attention to validate my existence… I wonder if other people ever feel this way…

We all crave attention to some extent. The extent to which we crave attention depends on the following:

1. Low level of attention received

2. Low level of activity

3. Our emotional history

4. Our mental attitude

The first two of these factors relate directly to the actual level of attention we think we need at a given time. The second two factors relate to the total amount of attention we think we require. As social beings, we all have a perceived need for attention and will attempt to fill our attention deficit by whatever means are available to us. We instinctively try to deal with this attention deficit by using solutions related to the first two contributing factors:

1. To compensate for the low level of attention received – we look for attention elsewhere. This may be attention such as that we get from joining a club, participating in a sporting activity or communicating with people over the Internet.

2. Our low level of activity increases our perceived lack of attention because it gives us more time to think about it -we can address this by distraction. We can distract ourselves either by giving ourselves activities such as exercise or doing hobbies. Or alternatively we can use solutions which take our minds off the problem by watching television, reading books, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.

The key thing about the two solutions listed above is that our relief from our craving for attention will last only as long as we are doing the activity. Common reasons for feeling that we have an attention deficit are; that a work assignment can take us away from our friends and loved ones for a prolonged period or we think we have nothing new to talk about with our friends and loved ones and wish to open new channels of communications.

The important thing to realize is that these reactions are natural and come as a result of our inbuilt desire to socialize with other human beings. As long as we do not try to distract ourselves with drugs which are significantly physically addictive or make up for the attention deficit we perceive with our spouse by means of an extra marital affair, then our participation in these activities is entirely normal.

Why is it then that when we are getting a good level of attention from our spouse and friends, when we are filling our lives with participation in clubs or sports and we are distracting ourselves with television and the Internet, that we sometimes still crave attention?

Why is it that actors and pop stars despite getting huge amounts of attention from millions of adoring fans and having money to spend on whatever type of distraction they wish, still end up with the feeling that they have a great void in their lives? Why did Amy Winehouse kill herself with drugs and why did Elvis Presley go off the rails at the end of his life?

One reason is that these people never got the type of attention they really needed. The other is connected with lack of self and esteem. In the case of several actors and pop stars their emotional history has probably left them with a craving for attention they can never fulfill. It is often this insatiable attention seeking behavior that propelled them to the position they reached.

The chronic perceived lack of attention means that they will always feel that there is a void in their lives. People start obsessing over their distraction and attention replacement behaviors because however hard they try to fill or avoid the void in their hearts, they cannot do it. The drug abuse, alcoholism, become obsessions.

Fact Sheet

For more guided information and to have your questions answered by professionals contact Care Pathways at visit our informative web-site on a range of topics at www.carepathways.net. We are here to listen and help.

Am I a sanctuary for the people who love me? Do I bring light, warmth, safety, love, laughter, and honesty to the world before me? I want to illuminate life. The beauty of our true nature is light or enlightenment to share with one another. I long for all my relationships to be a connection of the heart. This precious time is worth only that.

Have you ever noticed that you are drawn to some people? Drawn to their energy? I think it’s because we feel safe with or are connected to that person’s “sanctuary” energy. Some people just make us feel calm, grounded, and at ease. That’s why working on “me” is so important. I want to be a sanctuary for the people who love me and, most importantly, for me. When I think of a “sanctuary” person, I think of St. Frances and his beautiful prayer…. That calms me. Finding that calm as a woman is especially challenging to say the least, but we are the nurturers, so it’s our gift to nurture the world and one another as women.

Women are like the ocean with the perpetual motion of the waves that gently calm and the energy to inhale the Earth and powerfully crash it down washing away all that hurts. Finding that balance is our mystery and reward. We are so powerful. I want love to be my power; I want my waves to gently move back and forth washing away the past and polishing the future.
May the light of love carry you, Mary Kay

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth I will apply ALL of my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
— Og Madino